The strangest thing anyone’s ever told me was that I reminded them of a Ruffles sour cream and onion potato chip. That’s right, a Ruffles sour cream and onion potato chip. It happened my third year of college. A classmate… Continue Reading
Kelsey draws an invisible line on the kitchen floor, all the way around so that when she straightens, she stands in an imaginary circle. “There,” she says to Kyle, “That’s my line in the sand. Don’t cross it.” Kyle crosses… Continue Reading
The residents who still have their wits with them stare at me. Bruce is wearing what he thinks is a polite smile. “Could you repeat that, Anne?” He raises his clipboard as if to say, I didn’t write that down… Continue Reading
Paul walks by balancing a stack of paperbacks on his hairy arms. Faded covers and yellowed pages that are ripe for Second Hand upstairs, which I’ll have to check out later. I pretend not to notice him as he throws… Continue Reading
I died screaming. That happens when a three hundred pound hell-cat eats your face. But, I woke up, so it was a little anticlimactic. I always thought I’d be awed by what I saw on the other side. But, nah,… Continue Reading
“Learn to do something with those fat fingers, Marcia,” my mother urged. “Go to business school. Learn typing. Accounting.” My older sister, Laura, had studied piano. Impromptu recitals for family and friends the norm. “Such a talent, your sister Laura.”… Continue Reading
I thought aliens were interested in medical experiments but this one wouldn’t shut up about Hamlet. Just before the abduction, I’d been in the middle of a student conference in which a freshman was introducing her emotional support ferret, so… Continue Reading
“What’s your favourite animal?” “A tiger.” “Mine’s a black labrador, with floppy ears. What’s your favourite food?” “Rocky Road ice cream. What’s yours?” “Chocolate doughnuts. Do you believe in God?” “Of course, silly.” I had been humming to myself and… Continue Reading
Several journalists came to interview me after the confrontation with the terrorist in Edinburgh. None of the reports were very clear and some were wildly inaccurate: a young woman from The Sun newspaper, called Serena, said she wanted to compile… Continue Reading
Antigonus: Look, you’ve been following me for ages now. Isn’t it time to give up? Bear: Chasing. I’ve been chasing — not following — you for ages, and I am not giving up in the slightest. Antigonus: Well, is that… Continue Reading