When I was almost five, my Aunt Evelyn discovered that my birthday falls on International Talk like a Pirate Day. “ARRRRRRH,” Aunt Ev brandished a hooked hand and waited until I looked up from my cupcake. “This be the tale… Continue Reading
Your lips on a ram’s horn. A new year. You explained religion as a binary, 0s and 1s. Thou shalt. Thou shalt not. At an early age, or so you told me, you decided your upbringing, centered as it was… Continue Reading
Pleased to meet you. As you know, we start the interview with some standard bureaucratic questions. Do you remember Witchcaps? Right. I remember they were initially designed for edgy supermodels, so their popularity in elementary schools came as a surprise.… Continue Reading
Angus Mackay was waiting for his mate, when an old lady dressed in ragged clothes came up to him and muttered in a heavy Scottish accent, “You poor boy. You poor, sad, boy. Beware, beware…” Her voice rose to a… Continue Reading
I pull dresses and pants, jackets and blouses from the closet and stuff them into plastic trash bags. Given the pandemic, I couldn’t find a charity to take Pearl’s clothes even though, for all the COVID patients she treated, she… Continue Reading
A brunette and her twin girls did their best to ignore me after I reached the highest point in my local California state park. I stood a few feet away from them while I tried to minimize my excessive huffing… Continue Reading
“Wow, it really is you,” the little girl’s expression was almost comical, “you look just like you do in the movies!” Princess Nella chuckled. “Yes, fair maiden. It is I, the real Princess Nella, and I just adore your gown!”… Continue Reading
Bobblehead. I’m a bobblehead, he thought, and smiled at the mental picture of an Albert Einstein one that he saw online one time. It woke him up slightly, which he needed to do; falling asleep in public would be embarrassing.… Continue Reading
“They look like little dolls of yarn,” Paul said. We were gathered along the length of the office windows staring down at the man we named Charlie. “The arms are up in the air, angled out like a ‘Y,’” Paul… Continue Reading
I solemnly, sincerely, and truthfully affirm and declare that I will bear true allegiance to the Federal Republic… I will use my best endeavour for the preservation of peace and apprehension of offenders against the peace. I told you that… Continue Reading