Emory ran the numbers and frowned: 20.1K Instagram followers, a 3.98 GPA, and zero boyfriends. How had she gone through four years of chemistry classes and emerged with only a handful of disastrous first dates? Picking up her glitter-encrusted phone,… Continue Reading
He plucked his toothbrush from its perch, fixating for a moment on the black ceramic holder adhered to the tile wall just above the bathroom sink. He counted the holes: one, two, three — the recurring ache crept into his… Continue Reading
The mushrooms are poisonous, but locals eat them, says the Gastronome Guide to Ireland. I’m not a foodie. I plucked this guide from a free magazine stand at the Ballybunion bus station, and now I’m curious. “Have you tried inkcap… Continue Reading
“He died in the field?” I said. “Yep,” said the funeral director, “stone deaf; didn’t hear the tractor coming. Ran right over him.” “Tragic! Farm hand?” “Yeah, kind of.” “Family?” “None that we know of. The farmer’s paying, seeing to… Continue Reading
Gwen took a sip of her Earl Grey — the only drink this abominable café couldn’t stuff up — then glanced at her watch and shook her head. Tardiness was the height of rudeness in her book, even though, unfortunately,… Continue Reading
The news says that today’s temperature is the highest recorded in twenty-five years. With this comes a choking humidity. To relieve myself of the oppressive weather, I take off my skin, unzipping it from the back. Immediately I’m rewarded with… Continue Reading
In my defense, Mom shouldn’t have kept the Communion elements in the rumpus room. In her defense, the room wasn’t used much. As an only child, it’s hard to make a rumpus, especially when being the minister’s daughter renders you… Continue Reading
At first, it just screamed and tore the place up. It turned my shelves over, ripped my curtains, pissed on my bed, and threw crap everywhere. It was bad, sure, but it was understandable. The monkey was a wild animal.… Continue Reading
I don’t know what it was about my town, but it attracted heroes like flies on shit. This one sauntered into the store in a mismatched set of armour, her hair an unfeasible shade of pink, and introduced herself as… Continue Reading
The thing you need to understand is none of us liked him from the start. That’s why we weren’t too choked when we first heard about the breakup. It’s not that we didn’t care about my sister. Really, we were… Continue Reading