Like I’m supposed to, I show up on the High Holidays and go to grad school and graciously accepted the 18th-birthday nose job from my dad who cares way more than I do that I be available and palatable for… Continue Reading
“We’re only here because we love you.” I come home from the grocery store to find my living room filled with family and friends. It smells like cake. But it’s not my birthday. “Sit down.” I would rather stand. In… Continue Reading
People’s obsession with goals, mission statements, work objectives. I never got it. Me, I followed the path of least resistance. I went to the first college that took me and accepted the first job offer. At the office, I did… Continue Reading
In the Eighth Grade at a Catholic School in Columbus, Ohio as I neared the age of fourteen, I had a couple things going for me. One, I knew a lot of stuff, primarily anything that had nothing to do… Continue Reading
They planned to pick up their contribution to the Halloween party on the way. So, Jean and Maryann — dressed as Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz, not without some argument on who would be Ethel — stopped at the mall.… Continue Reading
Against the wishes of his family, a man married a ghost. He threw a great reception in a ballroom left pitch black. His new bride twirled and swirled upon the dance floor in her gown of spiderwebs, glowing slightly and… Continue Reading
Ms. Marken, the substitute teacher, was doing a math demonstration. Julie had finished the entire math unit two days before, so that was boring. Instead, Julie had taken out her Kindle and was ignoring the sub in the spirit of… Continue Reading
To: jkroger@IT.sandoroelec.comFrom: cdavis@sales.sandoroelec.comSubj: Urgent Printer Issue Dear Jeff, I’ve been trying to print my weekly report all day but every time I try to my computer reads >>ERROR PRINTER JAM. Mr. Boisey has been bugging me to get this report… Continue Reading
We were alarmed at first, my wife and I, when the small volcano appeared in our backyard. It had sprouted up one night, like a mushroom. It was no taller than a standard Weber grill, I’d say, and about ten… Continue Reading
“What’s your favorite color?” she asked. “Radio,” he said. “Three hundred gigahertz,” he added. Her eyes lit up against a gag-reel of emotions, before landing back on confusion. “That’s… not a color,” she goaded. And he knew she’d say that.… Continue Reading