What they did was seek out the very last unicorn on Earth and slaughter it. They paraded its head throughout town on a pike, because this takes place in a land where they still use pikes for things. Unicorns, of… Continue Reading
It was just a glass jar. “Did you say just?” “Yeah. It’s just a jar of beets.” “Just? There is nothing just about that jar. Nothing.” “I brought some beets. Thought you would like them.” “I did. We did. That’s… Continue Reading
“I’m thinking of getting a reduction,” Teresa said. “Not you too…” Chuckie rolled his eyes, but it looked like yet another anxious blink. “Let me guess, your beak?” “No, my breasts. I mean… I come from a naturally voluptuous flock.… Continue Reading
As my daughter and I walked out of the theater after watching Star Wars: Episode IX—The Tears of the Ewok, I couldn’t help but feel that I would never be the same. Maybe it was because the series that had… Continue Reading
Earlier tonight, I visited a pharma’s market inside an unmarked park just west of Vallejo, California. I was innocently waltzing along to the musical vibrations of swarming city streets, carting home a dozen eggs and a bottle of rum, when… Continue Reading
When the apocalypse started, I went to IKEA. I knew the world was going to end as soon as we touched down in Denver, but I caught my connecting flight anyway. I didn’t want to die in Colorado. When we… Continue Reading
Ask any staff member of the Creative Street Ad Agency and they’ll gladly regale you with the legend of Tim Mulligan. An accomplished ad man, Tim exuded true passion for his role, his company, and its people. He was touted… Continue Reading
As soon as I heard myself say, “I’m gonna fill the car up at BJ’s on my way back from the gym,” I knew I had made a mistake. I swear I could see my wife’s ears perk up, cocker… Continue Reading
He tipped the bottle straight up over the glass and shook it. Nothing came out. Empty. After a few failed attempts to set the bottle upright, he laid it on its side and watched it roll the length of the… Continue Reading
“Come on! I can’t believe we’re having this discussion again. You mind keeping it down?” A very nice vase is thrown against the wall. “Seriously? I’m trying to catch up on Game of Thrones and you’re throwing stuff now? That… Continue Reading