Sub-space radio transmission from the direction of Tau Ceti: “Mayday! Mayday! Do you read? ‘Beef’ Vaquero reporting in! Over, dammit!” Reply from Nina Bozovic, technician at Arecibo Observatory, Puerto Rico: “Is this a joke? Not funny. I’m just an underpaid… Continue Reading
Up at 5, take the hellhound walkies, then catch the Underground to Styxbridge for a bagel with sulfur spread. They say Hell is other people, but somehow I’m always alone. I trot along the hot lavawalk to the office, clutching… Continue Reading
Some people just get on your nerves. Like the new guy Rawlings, who moved into the cubicle next to me. He’d transferred in from the San Diego office the other day, ostensibly to help us get the Fairview project plan… Continue Reading
Your Honour, I never intended to lose my foot. True, I was researching the carparks of Planet Earth. Of course, we Maluvians transpose in time and space and have no need of vehicles. I repeat, I was doing research. True,… Continue Reading
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“You are just an ugly old toad,” said the Princess in her best pouty voice. “My dear, toads are not ugly — frogs are ugly. I am young and handsome. So how about a little peck right here between my… Continue Reading
The first time I threw a shoe at my shrink was right after he claimed I was “prone to fits of irrational behavior.” That was his opinion after a year of therapy. Considering his fee, I expected more than what… Continue Reading
“There’s no need for you to be nervous, honest.” Tony leaned across the table and touched her arm gently. “You’re too kind,” she said. Her voice was dry. She coughed self-consciously, raising a hand to her mouth, and simultaneously sniffed… Continue Reading
“Cleanup in Aisle 23!” Aisle 23, water filtration. That kid has gotten into the calcium hypochlorite sacks again. We only used to sell it by the gram but lately people have been fighting over it like the last turkey at… Continue Reading
At least a dozen people stood ahead of Mike in the Post Office, all eager to get home for the holidays. Most were like him, professionals working in the city. Lawyers, executives, doctors — you had to be quite wealthy… Continue Reading