PRINCE CROAKER • by Dick Noble
“You are just an ugly old toad,” said the Princess in her best pouty voice. “My dear, toads are not ugly — frogs are ugly. I am young and handsome. So how about a little peck right here between my… Continue Reading
“You are just an ugly old toad,” said the Princess in her best pouty voice. “My dear, toads are not ugly — frogs are ugly. I am young and handsome. So how about a little peck right here between my… Continue Reading
An artist must avoid scandal. One poor decision, and you’re through. No more commissions from high wizards. No more interviews on the front page of the Divinational Weekly Chapbook. Regretfully, I have experienced such embarrassment. I am, or rather was,… Continue Reading
No, you can’t have that water gun. Put it back. I told you, Mommy only brought money for food. Not for toys. Tommy, you put that box down or we’re going right back to the car. I mean it. Sit… Continue Reading
Solemnly, the seven little lawyers looked down at her. Even comatose in her hospital bed, she was so beautiful — her skin, white as snow; her lips, red as blood; her hair, black as ebony. “Who are we meeting with,”… Continue Reading
The brambles? Kept pigs out of the gardens. The story? Got my parents out of a jam. “My gosh,” I said to my aunt, “haven’t they bollocksed it up now!” She gave that ginger-and-lemon laugh of hers. “They can lie… Continue Reading
I enter deeper into the Dark Forest, aware that blood-thirsty predators are strung out in a line behind me. I stop for a moment to catch my breath, to gather my thoughts, to allow my eyes to adjust to the… Continue Reading
At the police station, the first thing we did was call in a cluster of experts. That’s by-the-book. The psychologist said, “Test case. Extraordinary. Unheard of.” “Appalling,” was the dentist’s verdict. “The most horrendous neglect.” The doctor sided with the… Continue Reading
The prince poisons the spindle. It’s nothing personal. The prince likes the girl enough: they talk about books. She’s a young blonde with full lips and heavy breasts. She’s conscious of her big nose and avoids her reflection in the… Continue Reading
Over the years, rumour grew like the roses. It was said that the castle behind the thorny hedge contained a beautiful princess, who would be woken from her slumber by a kiss. Her name was said to be Briar Rose,… Continue Reading
“Congratulations, Greg, this is a nice place. It’s going to be good to have a family in the neighborhood again.” “We were lucky. The Realtor’s a cousin of Magda’s. The house wasn’t even on the market, but she knew the… Continue Reading