It’s clear that no one would ever willingly drink it, but there’s no consensus on why. “It won’t be the same,” Count Orlok complains. “It’s disgusting. Mortals ruin everything.” He’s been in a foul mood ever since the TSA confiscated… Continue Reading
To the Sorely Mistaken Acquisitions Department of the Big Box Department Store: A certain line of baby products you are selling has come to my attention, and let me tell you, I am not happy. I have been informed that… Continue Reading
He filled his seat at the table as though poured into it. Sprawled out in front of him was a book of crosswords. At 8:45 every morning he sat at his place and pondered over a crossword while the coffee… Continue Reading
When we opened Jamal up, the parasite was gone. An alarming discovery that left our surgical team dumbfounded. The ramifications hit us concurrently. From the limited information the military had shared, we knew it required a warm-blooded host. As we… Continue Reading
[Sleep Today: 5.3 hours | Average: 7.2 hours] + [Coffees Today: 3 | Average: 4] + [Constraint: 33 minutes until scheduled dinner at 154 Hampton Avenue] : Best Match : Premium Sponsor 753. Directive: Play ad 753.1198 and route past… Continue Reading
Gaz rings and tells me he needs a lift — he’s out near St Andrews and he’s hit a kangaroo with his car. “It’s a write-off,” he says. I roll my eyes and leave a half a can of beer… Continue Reading
Posted on December 5, 2023 by Wife of Devoted Packer Fan / 3 Comments I’ve been making sugar cookies for my husband Bob since I was a seventeen-year-old blushing bride, pregnant with what would have been our first child. I… Continue Reading
Fifteen years and three children ago, George met Dorothy #1 at the wedding of a friend. Theirs is a relatively happy marriage, rather unremarkable, the matrimonial equivalent of vanilla ice cream, no sprinkles. Predictable, reliable. He works as a tax… Continue Reading
Sally had been marching up and down this steep hill every day since finishing work. Her route started and ended at the holy well. An ancient stone structure with a black caged roof, fronted by a cracked drinking fountain and… Continue Reading
He doesn’t know his letters. That’s what Ricky thought when he looked down at the refrigerator magnets. “CAT”. Only the A was an upside-down V. Little Ricky sat next to his handiwork grinning broadly. The wife was supposed to be… Continue Reading