Don’t go swimming if your pockets are filled with rocks. That’s the advice my father gave me just before he backed jerkily out of our driveway and putted down our suburban, tree-lined street with the sun glistening off the chipped blue paint of the van and my mom tied up in the back. I never saw either of them again. My father because he was quickly discovered by the police when he stopped at a gas station to buy cigarettes and watery coffee, leaving my mother the opportunity to ask a passerby to call the police; my mother because after my father saw that, he got his head on straight, took her to the dock in the center of town, and pushed her off. Her hands were tied behind her, but I bet she did her best to stay afloat. She was a strong swimmer. It can’t have been quick.
It’s hard to have no family and to always be alone, so recently I’ve started dating. Online dating is the best thing to happen to someone like me who could never just walk up to a woman and ask her out, and even if I could, she’d say no. But if you spend time researching what people are generally looking for in a partner, you can build a solid profile, and most women are too nice or too willing to give someone a chance that they won’t leave when they realize by Creative Content Producer I meant that I have my own blog about gaming. It was my mother’s problem too. Too nice. Too little expectation. None of it was a surprise, really.
I had one pretty good date and a few not so good ones. The not so good ones ended quickly after they started (I guess most girls aren’t as nice as my mom after all). The good date lasted almost three hours. When we were at the top of the Ferris wheel, we could see all the way to the dock, which reminded me of my parents. Gracey clutched the cold bar across our laps, so I could tell she was nervous. I asked her to tell me about her mom because I thought she was probably so pretty, just like Gracey. Then we heard the carny who was operating it swear a few times, and we got to enjoy that view for the next two and a half hours while they tried to get us all down. What luck! In the end, Gracey said the one date was probably enough, but it sure was nice to have someone to talk to.
It’s probably true that you shouldn’t go on a Ferris wheel if your pockets are filled with rocks either. I mean, where should you go with pockets of rocks? A public execution, maybe, or the zoo. I’ve heard the monkeys will throw them back to you if you pelt them with rocks. But I think if your pockets are filled with rocks, empty them.
Kali Thurber spends her time looking out windows in Toronto and occasionally putting words on paper.
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