RCS Chat with Jennifer Taylor
Rex Overston — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:03 AM
Hey Jen, I’m on a call, but text me back—I need to hear about what happened last night with Mary Lou Klinger’s recognition party at Schuler’s Pub. I have a really incoherent voicemail from Ole, the owner there. Something about someone performing an unnatural act on a piano, women stripping and throwing their clothes around, and a bar stool being thrown through a window and destroyed—WTF?
Jennifer Taylor — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:07 AM
Hi Rex, yeah, the celebration did get a little out of hand. The piano thing—some of the HR peeps were talking about that piano-top love scene in the movie Pretty Woman. Tom Thorpe said, well guess we can’t do that here ‘cause we only have an upright, not a grand—he’s talking about the piano. So Linda Wiley says, aw c’mon Tom, I bet we could! That’s how that got started. But it was something being done on top of the piano, not to the piano. Then about that time, a Marketing guy was goofing around and tried to toss a bar stool to one of his friends, but he missed and it took out the hors d’oeuvres table. After that, 2 engineers got involved—you know engineers, always trying to explain things. So they said it was a matter of the wrong velocity messing up the trajectory and began demonstrating by tossing the stool back and forth. Engineers! Am I right? Well, I guess one of them happened to notice what Tom and Linda were doing on top of the piano and that’s when the bar stool went through the window.
Oops, give me 5!
Jennifer Taylor — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:13 AM
OK, back. Anyway, the real damage to the bar stool happened when it bounced out into the street and got run over by a Valley City Police cruiser. That led to 2 cops coming in—pretty fast, really! They were both young, good-looking guys and Rose and Valerie from Accounting thought they were male strippers hired for Mary Lou. Well, they got the idea of challenging the cops to a strip-off! Those crazy Accounting women, huh? Now I’m surprised that them throwing their clothes at the police is considered assault. Maybe Rose’s bra because it had underwires, but sure as heck not Valerie’s panties—a French Cut thong? No Way!
Rex Overston — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:15 AM
They were arrested???
Jennifer Taylor — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:16 AM
Yeah, pretty much. I think it was Val pulling the cop’s gun out of his holster that pushed it over the top. She tried to do that finger twirl thing the cowboys in the movies do? ‘course she thought it was a toy when she grabbed it so it was heavier than she expected and it flew right off her finger. Now wouldn’t you think those cops would have their safeties on? Luckily no one was hurt—well, the bartender did catch a little glass when the gun hit the floor and the shot took out about 6 liquor bottles on the top shelf. And I guess a few people might have got roughed up a little in the stampede when everyone was trying to run out of the place after the gun went off.
Rex Overston — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:18 AM
Jen, was there anything there identifying this as a SweetWell event?
Jennifer Taylor — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:20 AM
Well, yeah, we had our Recognition Team banner. You know? SweetWell – We’re The Ones! It was up on the wall behind the piano.
Rex Overston — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:22 AM
Listen Jen, Pam just came in and told me Thayer Greene has two people from the Vikings Football team in his office and he wants me up there ASAP—do you know what that could be about?
Jennifer Taylor — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:24 AM
Ah, I bet it’s to do with Sue Hanson—she’s a Unix programmer from IT. Anyway, she was talking to a couple of Vikes linebackers who were sitting at the bar and somehow they got to arm wrestling (this was before the other stuff happened, BTW). Sue’s not a small woman and boy is she muscular! She put them both down pretty quick. Then some of the IT guys began razzing them about getting beat by a girl and saying no wonder they couldn’t win a Super Bowl. A bunch of people started chanting losers, losers. It got kinda harsh but I was surprised those football players were such wimps about a little hazing and stormed out like they did.
Rex Overston — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:26 AM
OMG! Thayer is a major fan! He even owns a suite in the stadium! Jen, is there anything—ANYTHING else I need to know before I go talk to our executive VP?
Jennifer Taylor — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:28 AM
There is one other thing Char told me this morning. A couple of people from TV 6 NewsNow were in the bar and they must have been recording on their cell phones, I guess, because evidently there’s a video clip that’s gone viral.
Jennifer Taylor — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:32 AM
Rex? You still there?
Rex Overston — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:32 AM
Yeah. Something else?
Jennifer Taylor — Friday, Oct 5 – 8:33 AM
Well, it looks like we’re going to have to find another place for our recognition parties. Schuler’s just called and said they don’t want us coming back there ever again.
Skip Senneka has written poetry and fiction as an avocation for the better part of his life and been published in commercial and literary magazines. He lives in Minnesota but considers himself a citizen of planet Earth and identifies as a carbon-based lifeform, both of which inform his work.
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