I didn’t plan on wanting to be kissed. It was simple. Twenty-four contestants wear MAK brand Belladonna’s Bliss, a bright red number that was perfectly safe on application, but lethal on the transfer. The contestants go on dates and complete… Continue Reading
I was sitting in Café New Orleans on Toronto’s Yonge Street one cool autumn day, watching the foot traffic flow north and south, nursing a coffee, my thoughts diffuse. Except for a young couple sharing a quiet tête-à-tête at a… Continue Reading
“Just five light years.” Evelyn winced. The light flashing off to her right meant that another person in line had taken the Leap. Between their excited yelp and a sound like rushing water, she thought the whole thing felt like… Continue Reading
The water’s cloudy. The countless blue tiles of the center lane markers — I did the math walking the outside of the pool last Saturday — disappear into a murky haze. Even where I stand in the shallow end. My… Continue Reading
“Danny, it’s a well-known fact that a man needs a good watch to have a good time,” my pun-prolific dad had said when I graduated college. For years the velvet-lined box lay buried in the back of a dresser drawer… Continue Reading
The warder and the priest come before dawn to rouse me from shivering non-sleep. Heads shaved, barefoot, we are pushed from the gaol into the shadow of the cathedral. My fellow murderers are both men. The thin grey one rubs… Continue Reading
I’m running through the airport with a floppy Christmas cactus in one arm and yanking a rolling suitcase with the other. Neither of which are mine. The owner of both, a fortyish woman with a scarf, chases me. Shouting, “Hey!… Continue Reading
It’s clear that no one would ever willingly drink it, but there’s no consensus on why. “It won’t be the same,” Count Orlok complains. “It’s disgusting. Mortals ruin everything.” He’s been in a foul mood ever since the TSA confiscated… Continue Reading
To the Sorely Mistaken Acquisitions Department of the Big Box Department Store: A certain line of baby products you are selling has come to my attention, and let me tell you, I am not happy. I have been informed that… Continue Reading
He filled his seat at the table as though poured into it. Sprawled out in front of him was a book of crosswords. At 8:45 every morning he sat at his place and pondered over a crossword while the coffee… Continue Reading