“Christmas wishes, Christmas wishes!” It was the cutest elf Amy had ever seen. So lifelike—the way those pointy ears twitched and the face crinkled like real skin as its owner smiled up at her.
“I’d love a Christmas wish,” said Amy. “How much is it? Where do I put the money?”
“No money, no money. You are tired, Amy? You can wish for help.”
Yes. Amy was tired. It was 4:22pm already. She had circled this mall for hours. Christmas shopping was always hard work. Every year she spent more than she could afford, and every year she met once more the raised eyebrows, the shrugs, the less-than-sincere thanks as her relatives unwrapped her gifts.
“But how did you know my name?”
“Amy, Amy,” said the elf, pointing upwards towards Amy’s work badge. “Make a wish, Amy, make a wish.”
“I wish.” Amy closed her eyes. “I wish I could find everybody EXACTLY the presents they really want this time.”
The elf touched Amy’s hands. “You will find everybody exactly the presents they want.”
“Thank you.” Amy opened her eyes, slowly. The elf had fled.
Amy sighed. So far she had bought presents for her husband Eddie and her next-door neighbour. The easy ones. Everyone else… Well, she’d better get on with it. Wouldn’t it be nice if wishes like that really could—
Amy spotted something. No, she didn’t like it. An apron with antlers and a bulbous red nose. A Rudolph apron. It was horrible, but Amy found herself buying it, and crossing off a name on her list.
Next came a set of musical mugs, each one squawking a different Christmas carol just a little off key. Kitsch and tat seemed to jump into Amy’s arms, and at checkout after checkout she presented her debit card without even hearing what price she was paying. Bemused, she checked off name after name on her list, until only Elaine remained. Eddie’s cousin Elaine, who always had everything and who had barely suppressed a sneer last year when Amy had given her a box of artisan chocolates. Amy tried to think, but found herself instead edging towards an imitation poinsettia hung with candy canes…
“What am I doing?” Amy asked aloud. “Am I going crazy?” If Elaine turned up her nose at chocolates, what on earth would she think of this monstrosity?
But here Amy was, carrying it towards the checkout.
The elf! It must be the elf’s doing!
Had the elf hypnotised her, coerced her into—But no, the elf had been kind, Amy was sure of it. If Christmas magic existed anywhere in this tawdry tinselled mall, then that had been Christmas magic, and she would do her best to believe in it.
Amy bought the plastic plant, took her bags home, made some coffee and began wrapping presents. Maybe… maybe the Christmas elf knew more than she did. Maybe everyone, even if they have everything—maybe everyone has their odd little quirks and somehow… somehow this would all work out. Maybe Elaine of the perfect eyebrows and the expensive clothes—maybe even Elaine had some sort of sentimental attachment to red-leaved plants and candy canes?
And yet Amy couldn’t help feeling nervous when Christmas dinner was over and it was time for unwrapping. Elaine’s present to her was a gardening book. Everyone had given her books—heavy, hardback books that she couldn’t have afforded for herself. Amy began to feel guilty. Even if the wish had worked and her gifts proved miraculously popular, she had put none of her usual time and thought into selecting them.
“Oh.” One of Eddie’s cousins had opened a parcel. “From Amy. A novelty doorbell. Just what I need.”
It didn’t sound sincere.
“Oh, a plant,” Elaine was saying. “From Amy? Of course.” She laughed. “Well, isn’t that different? Thanks, Amy, just what I’ve always wanted.”
It was true, Amy suddenly realised. She had given Elaine the perfect opportunity to sneer. She had played right into the hands of everyone who looked down on her.
Amy went to the bathroom and sat down, shaking with anger. So THAT was what they’d wanted? Another way of shaming her? On Christmas Day? When she’d worked overtime to pay—
Amy took out her phone to open her banking app. It dinged open with an elfin face instead of the usual advert. It reminded Amy of the elf in the mall, and suddenly she could not hold back her tears.
“Oh, Elf, what have you done to me?” she whispered. “I thought you were kind!”
“Amy, Amy,” said the elf as though glad to see her. “Your wish came true, Amy. They do not want good things; they received bad things.”
“But… And… But how much did this cost me?”
“No, Amy, no money.”
Amy clicked through to her transactions. It was true. Her balance hadn’t changed since 4:22pm on the day she’d gone to the mall—not even for the cheese and wine she’d brought. The whole debacle had cost her nothing, and now she found herself laughing. Loudly. Copiously. Uncontrollably. She nearly fell off the seat with laughter.
At last she dried her tears. Walked back into the living-room, sat down beside Eddie and looked about her. Everyone sat silent, red-faced or trying to look nonchalant, as though doubtful how to behave towards this new Amy who had bought them the gifts they’d deserved and then laughed like a maniac in the bathroom afterwards. Eddie was staring at her. There was one gift in Amy’s wrapping-paper still unopened.
“Oh, Karla,” said Amy loudly.
Karla flinched.
“You mustn’t forget to open your present! I hope it’s something you’ll enjoy!”
Fiona M Jones writes short fiction, CNF and poetry. Her work has been published in literary magazines and anthologies everywhere except Antarctica.
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