THE CABINETS OF DOCTOR CAL AND GARY • by David Macpherson

The following are just some of the 109 reviews from CarpenterAdvisor.Com for Doctor Cal’s Custom Cabinets.

4 out of 5 stars
The cabinets are awesome. The owner, Doctor Cal (that’s what you call him) gave a really low quote and an estimate of four days to finish the cabinets in my kitchen, and he made that quote. Can’t complain about that. The guy Doctor Cal had do the work was a little weird, sure, but how can I complain about these cabinets coming in on time and on budget?

3 out of 5 stars
I agree with the other reviewers, Doctor Cal came in on time and on what he estimated. I love the cabinets, but I think we had the same employee the others were talking about, the one Doctor Cal called Gary. He was very creepy. He never spoke, he moved around slowly, like he was under water. He had dark sunken eyes. He never stopped working on the cabinets. He didn’t stop for a coffee or for lunch, he just churned on with the cabinets. My kids were freaked out by him. They would see him and cry. And this Gary never said anything about it. I like the finished work, but ask for someone else, someone who isn’t sleepwalking through the day.

5 out of 5 stars
I got cabinets and a show!!! We got the the product we asked Doctor Cal for and then we had Gary to watch. He looks like a backup singer to the Bauhaus band, or Kraftwerk. You know, Dieter from Saturday Night Live, that’s what he looks like!!! How cool. I watched him work and work and work and never stop and just shout out, “Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!” He didn’t react at all, just kept on doing the fine work he produced. When Doctor Cal came by to spot check Gary’s work, he asked me “Not to interact with the somnambulist, he must concentrate on his work.” Of course I still interacted with him, he was in my house after all. I guess a somnambulist is someone who does cabinet work. The English language is filled with crazy words I never heard of before.

4 out of 5 stars
I have never had wood work like this. The cabinets seem to be alive. I know. I sound crazy, but when I touch the wood they put in, I feel like it’s breathing. Or at least vibrating. It makes me feel peaceful, a little bit sleepy sometimes, but I don’t worry about any of my cares. It’s like nothing I ever had installed, but that’s some nice kitchen work that changes my mood.

1 out of 5 stars
It’s not worth it. Having these monsters make something in your house, it’s not worth it.  The cabinets were lovely and very affordable and in just one month of having them, we removed them and put in new ones from another contractor. They reminded me too much of Doctor Cal and his worker. I can’t explain it any better, just pick someone else.

4 out of 5 stars
Doctor Cal doesn’t do the work. His tall assistant, dressed in black, does. Don’t talk to him. He won’t respond to anything you say. I think Doctor Cal gets recovering drug addicts to work for him. Yes, Gary was buggy, but you are getting good cabinets and helping the downtrodden.

1 out of 5 stars
I can’t figure this out, but since this company put in my kitchen cabinets, I’ve been sleepwalking. I wake up and I’m in the kitchen. Not every night, but at least once a week, I wake up in the kitchen. The other night I woke up and was holding an awl. I don’t own an awl. Where did the awl come from? This is not me going crazy, this is the cabinets, I’m sure of it.

5 out of 5 stars
I love Doctor Cal. The cabinets look amazing. I saved money and now my lay-about grown son is working for him. Yes, my son with the Master’s Degree in History is actually out of the garage apartment and earning a wage. He is working with Gary making cabinets. He looks thinner than he used to be, and he doesn’t call his mother anymore, but hell’s bells, my son has a job! This is the best company ever!


David Macpherson lives in Central Massachusetts with his wife Heather and son George.


Rate this story:
 average 4 stars • 1 reader(s) rated this

Every Day Fiction

  • I loved the reference to Dieter, hope it’s not unfamiliar to others. I had to look up somnambulist when I figured out it wasn’t a derivative of sommabitch. So I started the early morning with a chuckle and a new word.

    • MPmcgurty

      lol, yes, Welcome to Sprockets!

  • I loved the reference to Dieter, hope it’s not unfamiliar to others. I had to look up somnambulist when I figured out it wasn’t a derivative of sommabitch. So I started the early morning with a chuckle and a new word.

    • MPmcgurty

      lol, yes, Welcome to Sprockets!

  • Sarah Crysl Akhtar

    Funny, clever and well done. Four stars.

  • Sarah Crysl Akhtar

    Funny, clever and well done. Four stars.

  • This was great stuff and an interesting and novel format for a story. I enjoyed it.

  • This was great stuff and an interesting and novel format for a story. I enjoyed it.

  • joanna b.

    horror and humor combined. it worked for me. loved the exclamation points!!!

  • joanna b.

    horror and humor combined. it worked for me. loved the exclamation points!!!

  • MPmcgurty

    “but hell’s bells, my son has a job!” Excellent.

  • MPmcgurty

    “but hell’s bells, my son has a job!” Excellent.

  • Vidya Panicker

    This write has everything I want from a good story. A unique style, humor, suspense and fun.

    My first vote in the forum, starting with a 5 star!

  • Vidya Panicker

    This write has everything I want from a good story. A unique style, humor, suspense and fun.

    My first vote in the forum, starting with a 5 star!

  • Different, clever, creative…

  • Different, clever, creative…

  • Nicole

    This was very clever. I thought the format was unique.

  • Nicole

    This was very clever. I thought the format was unique.

  • Walter Giersbach

    By golly, Dave, you’ve done it again!!! Four stars.

  • Walter Giersbach

    By golly, Dave, you’ve done it again!!! Four stars.

  • Jen

    Just the best story! Cooky and full of fun! Five stars!

  • Jen

    Just the best story! Cooky and full of fun! Five stars!

  • Cranky Steven

    Loved it! Five stars! Kind of wished the zombies (?) ate someone though.

  • Cranky Steven

    Loved it! Five stars! Kind of wished the zombies (?) ate someone though.

  • terrytvgal

    Not exactly sure what I just read, but it made me smile. Such a fun presentation and something I feel I’d like to read more than once.
    Thanks, David! 3stars. — I’d have given 4 if I’d been more sure of what was going on.

  • terrytvgal

    Not exactly sure what I just read, but it made me smile. Such a fun presentation and something I feel I’d like to read more than once.
    Thanks, David! 3stars. — I’d have given 4 if I’d been more sure of what was going on.

  • monksunkadan@aol.com

    great story, lean and mean in the best way, great piece of work!! thought about it all day and smiled all day!! caligari and dieter in one story what a coup… thank you vrry much !!!

  • monksunkadan

    great story, lean and mean in the best way, great piece of work!! thought about it all day and smiled all day!! caligari and dieter in one story what a coup… thank you vrry much !!!

  • Paul A. Freeman

    Zombies? Drugged up slave labourers? An ironic look at the EDF star-rating system? Compulsive stuff. My cabinets were great!

  • Paul A. Freeman

    Zombies? Drugged up slave labourers? An ironic look at the EDF star-rating system? Compulsive stuff. My cabinets were great!