ONE-SIDED • by KJ Kabza

Hi! I’m Judy.

Ahmed? I’ve never met an Ahmed.

Haha — no, I’m not a supermodel. Or an actress or a dancer, though that’s what everyone thinks. I actually work at Regeneville.

Oh, I’m not a scientist or anything. I just do admin stuff. But I’m the first person you see when you walk into the lobby, so my boss said I should be demonstrating the product.

Yeah. Whatever I want done.

Oh no, it’s all natural. Do you know how it works?

Okay, so you’ve got a transporter, right? That breaks you down and sends you someplace as a beam of energy? Well, we just tweak how the beam reassembles. It’s a different way of using the same technology, but instead of going to the moon or something, you get instant plastic surgery. It’s awesome — nobody has to stay ugly anymore.

But why would you want to stay ugly?

What do you mean, who you are? You can always change who you are if you don’t like it.

What? No, not at all! Let me get my phone. Okay, here’s a picture of me before. ‘Barf’, right?

Huh? A picture of my mom? Um, okay… here’s one.

Well… no. I guess I don’t look like her, not anymore. But why would I want to?

But I know where I’m from. And isn’t family who you love, not who you look like?

Well, what kind of “unrecognizable” are you talking about?

Of course people react to me differently. That’s the whole point.

Well, I guess if they don’t talk to me anymore, they’re not really my friends then, huh?

Yeah… but you’re only talking to me because I’m hot, right?

— You’re walking away? But just look at me!

Were you even listening…?

KJ Kabza‘s flash fiction has appeared in print and throughout the web, in Flash Fiction Online, 580 Split, Brain Harvest, Every Day Fiction, and others. To read more of it (and other, longer work), he encourages you to harness the power of Google or visit

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