MY AMAZING PSYCHIC • by Michelle Duy

Rayanne left me awestruck. She blew away all doubt during my first reading.

“Follow me, dear,” she said, leading me into the front room. It was mostly dark, but the PSYCHIC ADVISOR sign in the window cast a neon pink glow. We sat across from each other at a small, round table. First she asked if something was bothering me, maybe a problem in the general area of my head and neck. Sure enough, I had a pretty bad headache last week. I nodded.

“Ah, your personality emits a light blue aura,” she went on. “That means you’re usually on the shy side. But in other situations you can be quite outgoing.” How did she know? It gave me the chills.

Rayanne told me reincarnation is real, and I myself have undergone countless incarnations. One of them has special importance, she said. In it, I was a beautiful Aztec princess. Foreign invaders attacked my country, killing me and many of my people. She perceived that the invaders came by sea. So now I know why I’m afraid of water to this day. (Well, besides the fact that I almost drowned in a lake when I was five.)

“Your family life is fascinating,” said the psychic. “One of your uncles is a New York cabbie, yes?” That confused me at first. I only had one uncle, my dear departed Uncle Lou who was a dentist in Ohio. Then slowly it dawned on me what she meant. You’ve heard of Checker cabs, right? Well, get this: in my childhood home, sometimes we had a checkered tablecloth on the kitchen table. I often sat at the table while my mom talked on the phone. Every now and then, she’d talk to Aunt Mabel who was married to Uncle Lou. You see? Rayanne knew that decades ago, there was a checkered pattern on one of the tablecloths occasionally on the table in the kitchen, where my mom used to talk to the wife of my uncle! After realizing this, I told the psychic and she said it was exactly what she meant. Talk about uncanny!

Besides her clairvoyance, Rayanne has another power — she can channel an ancient spirit named Hami-Rami. “He wants to talk to you,” she said. She closed her eyes to summon him. Then she began speaking in a new, low voice: “I am Hami-Rami, ancient seer and purveyor of all wisdom. I have come to impart the Truth to you, seeker.”

As you can guess, I had lots of questions for the spirit. What happens after death? Why are we here? Will I ever find true love? Am I on the right path? In my excitement, I barely gave him a chance to respond. Unfortunately Hami-Rami couldn’t stay long, as I discovered after asking him the most important question of all: “What’s the meaning of life?”

Through his human channeler, the spirit took a deep breath. “Curious mortal! Listen carefully,” he intoned. “The meaning of life…is…” Suddenly, the psychic slumped in her chair. She’d been channeling Hami-Rami for several minutes straight and felt exhausted.

“Come back in a week. Then I’ll have the energy to summon him again,” Rayanne said. She may need to charge more, she added, due to the draining nature of the work. It seemed fair to me. Maybe next time, Hami-Rami can stay a minute or two longer.

Anyway, you bet I made another appointment after that fantastic reading. Best $150 I ever spent!

Michelle Duy has written for Frank’s Reel Reviews and the horror site Yellow Mama. She lives in Buffalo Grove, Illinois.

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