From: Assistant Editor, Mystery Mayhem Tales Magazine
Date: March 14, 2017 8:12 AM
To: jjmmysterymaster@yahoo.com
Subject: Submission of “Egregious Accounting Exploits”
Dear JJM:
I have just finished reading your manuscript of “Egregious Accounting Exploits,” and I am very concerned about the content of the story. You detail accounting practices which appear to be illegal and provide an expansive knowledge of the details of crimes that leads me to believe that you may be recounting actual crimes that perhaps you or others have committed.
As you know, I am honor bound to report potential crimes, and since I know nothing about you, since you have kept details about your personal life hidden well, I do not know how you will take this. I have notified the CEO of the company mentioned in your manuscript, as well as the Attorney General of the state where the company is headquartered.
I advise you to seek legal counsel.
I am, however, taking the manuscript, editing it down to a more manageable 8,000 words, changing significant details, and retitling the story to “Death by Debit.” I am sending a check for $495 by mail to your P. O. Box.
Best.
Melody Marchant, Assistant Editor
From: jjmmysterymaster@yahoo.com
Date: April 5, 2017 5:30 AM
To: mmarchant@mysterymayhemtales.com
Subject: Story Acceptance
Dear Mel—
I was delighted to hear that you accepted the story. Please excuse my delay in responding, as I was in Costa Rica and unable to access my email. I will have another story for you very soon, for your review, of course, but I have some appointments with the Attorney General, a representative from the CEO’s office, etc., that will delay my work. I will forward a hard copy with info on my new P.O. Box.
JJM
From: Assistant Editor, Mystery Mayhem Tales Magazine
Date: November 14, 2017 10:04 AM
To: jjmmysterymaster@yahoo.com
Subject: Submission of “Co-Opting Drug Dealers”
Dear JJM:
Thanks so much for your recent submission. As you reference potential illegal activities, I have contacted the U.S. Embassy in Costa Rica, as well as the Central Intelligence Agency. Both have informed me they will be in touch with you to resolve some unanswered questions.
The story of a U.S. citizen, whose family was wronged by drug dealers operating out of Costa Rica in a case of mistaken identity, and the story’s lead who went to Costa Rica and “took out” members of a drug cartel was fascinating if not also very, very detailed.
I have whittled your manuscript down to 10,000 words, changed a few details, and will be sending payment of $675 by postal mail to your new P.O. Box. The new story title is “Paying for Mistakes.”
Best of luck.
Mel
From: jjmmysterymaster@yahoo.com
Date: January 4, 2018 4:20 PM
To: mmarchant@mysterymayhemtales.com
Subject: “Paying for Mistakes”
Dear Mel:
Great news on the story. Not crazy about the proposed title, but won’t argue. Do recommend we change the locale outside of Costa Rica, after some recent “contacts” with Costa Rican government officials. Great news, though; I can expect a great vacation in Costa Rica whenever I visit next. The U.S. government will provide new name, passport, and a number of amenities.
Perhaps another story soon.
JJM
From: Assistant Editor, Mystery Mayhem Tales Magazine
Date: June 6, 2018 6:20 PM
To: jjmmysterymaster@yahoo.com
Subject: Submission of “Agent’s Folly”
Dear JJM:
I read your latest story. I was very sorry to hear about the agent who is representing your most recent novel. What a horrible situation to have been in the “wrong place at the wrong time” and get beaten so badly after he had been winning at a private poker game. Since your agent is not representing you on your shorter fiction, it would be inappropriate for me to contact him; however, I have referred some details to the appropriate authorities in Hoboken.
The story was great, though. Loved it. Will keep the title. Imagine an agent being forced to sell an author’s work by “hook or crook,” as you say in your fiction. The description of the steps the agent takes — bribes, threats, fraud, and misrepresentation of facts. Just amazing. I’m glad that we don’t have to deal with this in the real world.
Look forward to more.
Mel
From: Assistant Editor, Mystery Mayhem Tales Magazine
Date: December 12, 2018 9:42 AM
To: jjmmysterymaster@yahoo.com
Subject: Your Latest Hard Copy Communication
Dear JJM:
I understand your strongly worded message from the postal letter you sent me. I will not contact anyone regarding statements you have made to me. I have worked diligently to support your work, and will get approval to publish your memoirs as a serialized “novel” in Mystery Mayhem Tales Magazine. This will, however, be my last action as Assistant Editor. It is not necessary or appropriate for you to give me bribe money in the form of an “exorbitant reading fee,” as you referred to it.
I have destroyed the check you sent recently. While your fiction has been extremely well received by our readership, I note that I am only your editor and cannot have any involvement in what you refer to as “story development,” especially when such development involves the commission of crimes and other illegal and unethical actions.
I have been under serious stress these last few months and will be moving on to another position as Assistant Editor of “Incredible Tales of Speculative Fiction.”
Mel
From: jjmmysterymaster@yahoo.com
Date: April 26, 2019 2:57 AM
To: mmarchant@incredibletalesofspeculativefiction.com
Subject: Submission of Story for Consideration
Dear Mel:
I am sending by regular mail a submission for your consideration, a short story, “Earth Decimated by Viruses Stolen from Centers for Disease Control.” The lead character is based on me and my exploits in the subject of the story. I recommend that you not take any communications from CDC or any major news media for some months or so.
Knowing you, you will probably want to change the title.
Look forward to your response. Acceptance, of course?
JJM
Robert Baylot has published poetry in The Broad River Review, Clarion Magazine, and Deep South Magazine. His short story, “The Permit,” appeared in the Fall 2018 edition of Mysterical E.
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