The toy factory was bustling. Christmas was but a few days away and there were countless orders to ship out. Ryan Stanopolous strolled through the sea of smiling faces. The holiday spirit was clearly alive and well in his workforce.… Continue Reading
The sign outside the bar read “Cheap Drinks! Free Pool! Live Music Combo!,” but the combo on stage consisted of one guy in a Santa hat with a Casio keyboard. He was singing John Denver’s “Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk… Continue Reading
“You…really think I’m holding… 231 gumballs?” The Jar said, her voice trembling, tears starting to stream onto her ‘GUESS HOW MANY’ sign. “No, it’s not, well, yeah, I guess I do.” “You really think I’m that… big?” I had dug… Continue Reading
When someone popped a champagne cork at the Christmas party, Carl dived under the table. No one said a word. The dairy lot laughed nervously, the butchers raised their eyebrows and carried on with their conversations, and the dot.com drivers… Continue Reading
It was curious, Dr Harold felt, that he should have been working on his Fibonacci paper that December. As a rule, he tried not to notice workplace festive japes. The explanation he felt most comfortable giving himself was that it… Continue Reading
“Twenty lines! By tomorrow!” the Latin teacher shrieked. The class gave out a collective groan. Translating twenty lines of Ovid’s Metamorphoses seemed impossible, even with one hundred nights to work on them. I glanced down at my paper to see… Continue Reading
After sex, instead of cuddles, Amy asked for the cat. Lulu protested that they just did this yesterday, but Amy was insistent. So Lulu went to the bathroom, crouched down on the rug, and changed. The thing about shapeshifting was… Continue Reading
Ma hadn’t always been fat. Once upon a time, she’d been a slinky thing who loaded men with bourbon so’s to woo them into her womb, secretly sucking up their seed with a precisely-inserted sponge. She had baby after baby… Continue Reading
Andrew timed it perfect: he opened the front door just at the moment Mama’s thrown picture frame hit the wall right behind Daddy. Neither of them heard him leave. He learned early to get out unnoticed when he wasn’t the… Continue Reading
My mother would start unpacking the Christmas decorations on what we now call Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving when shoppers stampede stores.) The smell of leftover turkey still permeated our house as she filled the air with a regular… Continue Reading