BRUNCH WITH EDGAR • by Timbray Shafer

Brunch with Edgar was splendid. I awarded full marks.

Imagine the surprise when my own report arrived and Edgar had hit me with a C+.

C+?

Really?

I called him.

“C+, Edgar? Brunch was splendid!”

I couldn’t see Edgar’s face, but I knew he was embarrassed. We’ve been friends so long. I can tell these things.

“Don’t get upset,” Edgar said. “You’re not a C+ guy, Barry. Just how the points fell.”

I checked the rubric.

“You dinged me on ’COURTESY.’ Wasn’t I courteous?”

“A small ding, Barry. A small one. When the water pitcher came, you poured your cup first.”

I slapped my head. Rookie mistake.

“‘CHEERFULNESS,’ though! That’s a big ding! I’m cheerful!”

“Mostly, Barry. Mostly. But remember talking about your sister? You went on and on. A quick vent is fine, but gee, that was a real bummer.”

God. I had talked too much about my sister. Hospitals are not a suitable brunch topic.

“Full score for ‘COMPORTMENT,’ though!”

“But ‘CONGENIALITY,’ Edgar? What’d I miss there?”

“Come on, Barry. It was an off day, maybe.”

I hung up. Edgar was right. I’d been careless. Another C would bump me down a Friend Tier. Edgar could never see me then.

Movie night with Anne is soon. I must improve. I’ll smile wide and let Anne grab the first handful of popcorn. I won’t mention my dying sister. Then, when my A+ arrives and my Tier Status is saved, Edgar will see exactly how splendid I can be.


Timbray Shafer is a teacher and traveler from Upstate New York. His work has previously appeared in Arch Magazine, and his debut young adult fantasy series, The Rens, is available on Amazon.


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