MOONRISE • by Suzanne Conboy-Hill

Josie looked down at her toes and wriggled them against the cold of the pavement. Should have worn shoes, she thought. Shoes would have been smart. She tugged at her brown cardigan, pulling the open edges closer together across her chest and fiddling with the buttons to keep them in place. Blinking thing! Impulse buy and far too small! Her breasts announced themselves from within, rounded and rather too finely detailed in the chilly night air. Josie folded her arms across them, releasing one hand to rap urgently on the door. It was four in the morning; would she wake them? She had to wake them! A sound from behind — oh shit! Josie squinted into the darkness as a crowd of teenagers street-bopped its way home from a local gig.

“Doo wah, PAH!” one of them said, in response to the “Da da, BOOF!” his mate had just air-drummed over the roof of a transit van.

Josie watched them from the shadows beneath her friend’s porch. Shadows that obscured her from casually inquiring eyes, that preserved her dignity, that — oh God!

Three things happened at once:

The security lights came on.

Karen opened her front door.

The group of teenagers broke into hysterical laughter and one of them peed with abandonment into Karen’s hedge.

“What the…?” Karen’s mouth ticced up at one corner and Josie thought she saw an expression of deep concern being beaten to a pulp by one of barely contained hilarity. She tugged at the cardigan again, downwards this time, and fore and aft, in a gesture towards dignity. But the puff of gossamer Josie favoured for knickers was not up to the job of obscuring an arse that shone with uncalled-for brilliance in the drive’s spotlights.

She raised her eyebrows in a ‘well-what-were-you-expecting?’ sort of way. “Fox in the garden. Knocked over a bin. Thought it was burglars. Got my spare door key handy?”

Suzanne Conboy-Hill is a health care specialist in learning disabilities currently researching in virtual worlds and capacity to consent. In her other worlds, she provides hotel services to several cats, a couple of dogs, and a large number of uninvited spiders.

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 average 3.5 stars • 2 reader(s) rated this

Every Day Fiction

  • fishlovesca

    I had to read it twice to get it, but I got it the second time. Funny!!! Thanks for this one!!!

    Five stars. :))

  • It reminds me of a story that a then-young lady once told had happened to her.

    She was living in a shared, rented flat in Fulham, that had an outdoor lavatory in a small garden with high walls. One night, she went out to use it with nothing on at all. She froze half way there, when a light went on and a great roar of shouting rose up. She thought someone had seen her – until she realised with relief (and before relieving herself) that it was only a nearby football stadium where a goal had just been scored.

    I won’t give her name.

  • Sandra Crook

    Very funny. A nice way to start the week. Well done.

  • Very entertaining with a good twist. I love the line, “puff of gossamer”. I agree, it’s a great way to start the week — with curiosity and a grin.

  • ajcap

    I have SO been there, though it was more like #2, P.M.Lawrence’s story, at Gran’s house in Stoke.

    One of the many great parts of Moonrise is the title. Also the second to last paragraph is laugh-out-loud funny. Very enjoyable and well written.

  • Funny story. Great Monday morning start to the day. Nicely written. Four stars…

  • Rose Gardener

    Engaging from start to finish, lovely turns of phrase and made me smile. Very well done. I’m going to give it a 5!

  • Jen

    I loved this story, it was very funny and definitly well thought-out. Thanks for the morning treat.

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  • vondrakker

    Reminds me of locking myself outta
    my motel room at 6 Am
    The mngr was not pleased!!!
    To say the very least.
    5 *****

  • Linda G

    I loved this cheeky tale although the overuse of exclamation points in the first paragraph almost ruined it. All that heightened energy, sentence after sentence, didn’t seem appropriate for what was going on.

    I agree with others that the ending was hilarious. A great visual that many can relate to, including me. I’ve been known to go outside with some pretty funky clothing combinations when the dog needs to pee at 3:00 am.

  • You got me. I didn’t expect a laugh. Wonderful visual at the end and perfect title. Good job.

  • Just popping in to say thank you for all the lovely comments.
    Linda G – you are absolutely right about my overuse of exclamation marks. I’m trying to wean myself off by substituting smilies 🙂 in more social contexts but it is oh so very hard. (<- feel the restraint there?).
    And, no LCL, I'm not giving up the mate whose story it (almost) was!

  • Jane S

    What a hoot! Loved the imagery and not at all concerned about the amount of exclamation marks!!!

  • Reading this a monday late. Good cheeky job!

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