“I want something edgy,” says the client.
Bloody hell. I’m a hairdresser not a miracle worker, thinks Pauline, running her hands over the bleached helmet of hair in front of her.
“How do you mean?” Pauline asks, smiling professionally into the mirror.
“You know.” The client swirls her hands around her head as though that provides some clarity. “Edgy.”
Pauline grips a handful of crispy hair. “We could take some weight off the back here and I could give you a layered bob?”
Say yes. Please. A bob is quick and easy.
“A bob is stylish and it’s a cut that’s always in fashion,” she says hopefully.
“Yes, but is it edgy?” Asks the client.
No, it’s not bloody edgy! But since you haven’t given me a clue as to what you actually do want, I’m stabbing in the dark here! “It all depends on how edgy you want to go,” says Pauline calmly. “I could give you a buzz cut and we could dye it blue if you like. Now that’s edgy!” She hopes her sarcasm isn’t showing.
The client laughs nervously. “I don’t think so. I want a complete change, you see. I want to go short and I want it edgy.”
At last. We’re getting somewhere. Short. Right.
“Okay, short it is. Do you want to go with bangs? We can do them full or to the side.”
Let’s start with an easy decision. Pauline sweeps the client’s hair into a side parting.
“Oh no! Not side bangs,” shrieks the client. “Not with my high forehead!” Pauline clenches her teeth and repositions the hair into a middle parting.
“How about that?”
The client’s eyes narrow. “Now I look like a pair of drapes.”
Why don’t I just set fire to it and save us both the bother?
Pauline pushes the words back down her throat. “Okay then!” she shouts cheerfully. “Short and no bangs it is!”
Over at the sink, Pauline does her best with the conditioner but it isn’t going to scratch the surface of what this fire hazard needs. She goes through the motions with the complementary head massage then guides her lady back to the chair.
Poised with comb and scissors, Pauline stands behind her client.
“Can you leave it long at the sides?” The client announces from under a curtain of damp hair.
“Long at the sides? But I thought we were going short?” Pauline’s temples begin to throb.
“I want to feel like I’ve got short hair but I don’t want to go too short. See?”
No. Pauline doesn’t see. “What if I leave it long at the sides so you can tuck it behind your ears?”
“Alright then. And don’t go too short at the back either. About to here.” The client saws her hand back and forth across the side of her neck.
Pauline watches helplessly.
Let me get you a real saw, she offers silently. Pauline bares her teeth in what she hopes resembles a smile. “So. You don’t want it short, then?”
“I want it short but not short short,” says the client like Pauline is five years old.
She’d love to pull that Velcro really tight around the neck of the woman’s plastic gown.
Don’t you know you’re not making any sense? Pauline feels her hands sliding towards her client’s throat.
“So. You’re really saying a bob, then?”
“No. We’re still going short but not short short.” Pauline catches the client’s clipped tone.
Don’t get snotty with me! I’m the one trying to read minds here! Pauline pushes her mouth into a smile. “Okay. Just so I’ve got this right, then. We’re going short but not short short, and we’re leaving it long at the sides and jaw length at the back. Right?” Pauline’s losing the will to live.
“That’s right.” The client’s mouth is now set in a tight line.
That’s my tip out of the window.
As she douses the client’s newly blow-dried bob with hairspray, Pauline breathes a sigh of relief. At least the woman’s stopped glowering at her in the mirror.
Kimberly pops her head over Pauline’s mirror.
“Pauline, your next lady is here. She wants me to give you a heads up that she’s wanting a change. Says she wants something edgy.”
Pauline feels her fist tighten around the blade of her scissors.
Now retired from college teaching, Jayne Evans is enjoying a rekindled passion for writing. As well as writing short stories and flash fiction, Jayne is also working on her first novel which is based on true events and set in Toronto in 1930. Her work has appeared in The Globe and Mail and Quick Brown Fox and she has written for CERIC Magazine and Moving2Canada.
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