SHARK ORBIT • by William Doonan

Docking at the space station, Dex Branson momentarily forgot about the two-ton shark in the science bay. He was dreaming about cosmonaut Martina Voluskova, “with whom I shall soon rendezvous,” he chortled, eyeing his case of smuggled vodka.

Later, with the shark stowed, the vodka sampled, and Martina Voluskova purring by his side, Dex grinned. “Just you and me, baby. Three whole months!”

“Did you bring the Pringles like you promised?”

He pried open a massive crate to show her. “A three-month supply!” And they made love, drank vodka, and ate Pringles from sunset to sunrise — about forty minutes in orbit. Then they slept.

“Micrometeoroid.” Martina shook him awake. “It passed through the hull, piercing both the hydrogen and the oxygen tanks. The gases are mixing.”

“Not good.” Dex stared at the rising water.

“It gets worse; the shark tank shattered.”

“Don’t worry.” Dex remembered his biology classes. “A shark is a saltwater fish. It can’t survive in fresh water.”

They watched in horror as the Pringles salted up the water.

“What do we do now?” Martina trembled.

Dex caught the dorsal fin out of the corner of his eye. “We swim,” he yelled.


William Doonan is an archaeologist and a mystery writer. His novels Grave Passage and Mediterranean Grave recount the adventures of octogenarian detective Henry Grave, who investigates crimes on cruise ships. He also writes a serialized horror blog — The Mummies of Blogspace 9. If you thought the internet was safe from the undead, you were wrong!


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 average 3 stars • 1 reader(s) rated this

Every Day Fiction

  • Gary

    Simple. Hilarious. To the point. I love it.

  • Joanne

    Nice way to start the week — with a laugh! Enjoyed this.

  • Hilarious. The Pringles salted up the water. I laughed out loud when I read that.

  • Love it! Not a wasted word, and I didn’t see it coming.

  • This made my morning. Awesome humor flash. I wholeheartedly approve of the Space Shark.

  • Sarah Crysl Akhtar

    Delightful.

  • marta chausee

    So fast I almost missed it. Good job!

  • Why was I reminded of James Bond?

    A fun read.

  • I started off reading this thinking how cheesy it was, what with the sleazy protagonist and his exotically named companion. By the time it got to “have you brought the Pringles?”, I was ready to write it off.

    I take it all back. The end of this story had me laughing out loud – it’s so ridiculously fun and silly, what’s not to love?

  • Cheeky. Fabulous. Nonsense! Nothing else needed Mr Doonan, James Doonan, Double-O – hang on, isn’t that Scotty, give or take?

  • Sally Carpenter

    Pringles and vodka? What a combination! Beam me up, William. Funny story.

  • Vodka? What brand of vodka? Too cute!

  • Simone

    Ha! Short and very sweet. Nice job!

  • JenM

    Ha ha! Thanks for this! Happy Monday!

  • Great story! A true winner.

  • Isaac Aminov

    Aren’t pringles cans watertight

  • lepifera

    The complete inlogicality and siliness of the scenario cracked a smile on my face.

  • Short, sweet, silly with a touch of romance and science. What more could a girl desire? Great story.