PINK PILL DREAMS • by Rachel Printy

“Emma, no!” she gasped, her own voice awakening her. Not again. Usually the Ambien knocked her out enough to escape this recurring nightmare, but tonight her sister had invaded even her pink pill dreams.

Avery pulled off her eye mask and stared at the angry red numbers of her digital alarm clock. Two in the morning. She had to be at work in five hours. “Damn it,” she sighed as she struggled to untangle her legs from the sheets and step out of bed. After yanking open the door of her walk-in closet, she flipped on the light and rooted around the top shelf until she grasped the right bottle.

“Thank God for Ambien,” she said, fumbling to open the childproof cap. It took longer than usual, but soon she held one of the small, salmon-colored pills in her palm. She debated going to the kitchen for water, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Besides, she had dry-swallowed much bigger pills than this. Tossing it into her mouth, she caught her reflection in the full-length mirror hanging in the back of the closet.

Her eyes were frightening. Mascara lay smudged beneath thin slits of white sclera and pinpoint pupils. How those eyes stared back at her, so accusing. Before tonight she’d made it a week without popping a sleeping pill. Now she was on her second.

Avery covered her stomach with her free hand as she stood there in her underwear, ribs poking through her skin. She looked sickly these days, was pushing herself too hard again. High school valedictorian, sorority chapter president, now a lawyer in one of the top litigation firms in NYC—it still wasn’t good enough. No matter how much she accomplished, she’d never be able to make up for the death of her sister in her family’s eyes. Her breath caught in her chest as the memory of that night came flooding back to her.

Two-year-old Emma in the living room, giggling as she banged her favorite wooden blocks together.  Avery, ten years older, was annoyed her parents had made her stay home to babysit as they dined out with friends. She’d been sitting with Emma on their carpeted floor, half-paying attention to her, half-eyeing the MTV video playing in the background. The phone rang in the kitchen and she’d left her alone for a minute as she went to answer it. The latest rap song was still blaring on the TV when she returned. Perhaps that was why she’d never heard the splash, or the cries Emma had surely made before her tiny body sank down into the depths of their pool. Avery had forgotten about the open patio doors. It had been warm and sticky in the house that night, and she’d unfastened them hoping to let in the cool outside breeze. Hadn’t her mother warned her multiple times against doing that very thing?

Avery’s heart was pounding as it always did when she thought about her sister. She realized she was clutching the pill bottle so tight her knuckles had lost their color. On a sudden impulse she threw the bottle’s contents at her reflection. An explosive pink cloud surrounded her, and then was gone. As the pills hit the hardwood floor, some bouncing a little, some rolling away, she remembered the time her grandmother’s pearl necklace broke one Thanksgiving dinner. That had been five, maybe six years ago, when she still spoke with her family.

“Look at you, so perfect, so happy!” She snarled at the pathetic creature in the mirror, the one drowning in the Ambien and extra large glasses of wine at dinner these days. Like the ones she’d had during her firm’s happy hour tonight, where she charmed and flirted with the senior partners; where she blushed when the silver-haired, recently-divorced gentleman of the bunch commented on her tight dress and slipped her his number. She barely recognized herself anymore.

She sank down onto her knees and scooped a handful of pills up off the floor. She’d never taken more than two before… would she stop breathing like Emma had? Would anybody care?  Rolling one in between her thumb and forefinger, she hesitated for only a second before swallowing the rest. “Sweet dreams,” she whispered to her reflection. Time to sleep.

She curled up into a ball, waiting for the sedatives to take effect. As she stared over the tops of her perfectly-arranged shoes, her eyes landed on a forgotten cardboard box tucked away in the back corner. Her mother had mailed it to her last fall. Something about old photos, the letter preceding it had said. At the time Avery had refused to open the package; the past haunted her enough as it was. But now she was desperate to see the faces of her family one last time. She sat up and grabbed it, tearing open the tape with her fingernails.

The photograph on top was of her and Emma a few months prior to her death. They were at a zoo enjoying some ice cream cones. Avery had chocolate all over her lips and a goofy smile. She held her baby sister on her right hip with her free arm. Emma had both hands wrapped tightly around her sugar cone and was gazing up at Avery’s face.

She flipped over the photo, hoping to find the exact date it had been snapped. Instead she found her mother’s handwriting. My little angels. I love you so much, Avery.

She choked back a sob. Was it possible her parents really had forgiven her? She stumbled out of the closet and found her cell phone. She didn’t want to die. Not anymore. One day she hoped to be reunited with Emma, but she needed the chance to tell her parents she loved them, too.

“9-1-1 emergency,” a female operator answered.

She took a deep breath and said what she’d never had the courage to say before, “I need help.”


Rachel Printy lives in NYC where she spends her free time reading, writing, salsa dancing, and trying to teach herself how to whistle. She is thankful to her family, friends, and FWA St. Pete writers group for their feedback and encouragement while creating this story. Rachel’s other pieces “Sucia” and “Polepole” can be found in Reed Magazine issue #68 and Chicken Soup for the Soul’s Think Possible book, respectively.


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 average 4.8 stars • 4 reader(s) rated this

Every Day Fiction

  • 36 votes without one comment. Really?

    I thought the story rather benign. Not much originality on a tired theme. The writing style itself was rather ordinary.

    • I wondered that my own self.

    • Camille Gooderham Campbell

      Sometimes we see low numbers of comments on stories where the subject matter is dark/heavy and affects people on a personal level due to their own experiences or empathy (e.g., depression, suicide attempts, divorce, etc.). Readers who don’t know what to say may just rate it silently—a recognized trend with this type of story.

      • Vicki Doronina

        I joined EDF only a couple of months ago (thank you for the wonderful site and especially for a possibility to comment as it enhances the reading experience). However, I can already remember three stories about children’s death:
        – this one;
        – about a mother off her medication drowning her son;
        – about a heroin addict.

        The last story is essentially the same as the current one: self-destruction because of the personal tragedy.

        I don’t mind stories about dead children or even repetition of stories about dead siblings. However, the probability of a child under five dying in a Western society divided by the number of stories about this in a short period of time suggests a slush reader with a bias. Shouldn’t it be corrected?

        • Camille Gooderham Campbell

          I’m so glad you’re enjoying the daily stories, Vicki.

          For reference (correct me if I’m wrong), I believe the two other stories you refer to are “Alice’s Monsters” by Helen Cattan-Prugl and “Long and Graceful” by Michael P. Boettcher Jr.

          I’m not sure which of our current and/or former slush readers you’re accusing of having “a bias”, since the three stories were each commented on by several different members of our editorial team and accepted for publication by different editors. If anything, it’s a testament to the sheer number of stories about death we get every day (we publish a tiny fraction of them), and if I were to suspect any greater cause than that, it would be a writing prompt somewhere in the flash fiction community. Unfortunately, the probability of something happening in real life has very little to do with the probability of someone writing fiction about it, and as a matter of percentages, some of those pieces are going to end up being published. If you have any suggestions about how we could “correct” this to your satisfaction, I’d love to hear them.

  • 36 votes without one comment. Really?

    I thought the story rather benign. Not much originality on a tired theme. The writing style itself was rather ordinary.

    • I wondered that my own self.

    • Camille Gooderham Campbell

      Sometimes we see low numbers of comments on stories where the subject matter is dark/heavy and affects people on a personal level due to their own experiences or empathy (e.g., depression, suicide attempts, divorce, etc.). Readers who don’t know what to say may just rate it silently—a recognized trend with this type of story.

      • Vicki Doronina

        I joined EDF only a couple of months ago (thank you for the wonderful site and especially for a possibility to comment as it enhances the reading experience). However, I can already remember three stories about children’s death:
        – this one;
        – about a mother off her medication drowning her son;
        – about a heroin addict.

        The last story is essentially the same as the current one: self-destruction because of the personal tragedy.

        I don’t mind stories about dead children or even repetition of stories about dead siblings. However, the probability of a child under five dying in a Western society divided by the number of stories about this in a short period of time suggests a slush reader with a bias. Shouldn’t it be corrected?

        • Camille Gooderham Campbell

          I’m so glad you’re enjoying the daily stories, Vicki.

          For reference (correct me if I’m wrong), I believe the two other stories you refer to are “Alice’s Monsters” by Helen Cattan-Prugl and “Long and Graceful” by Michael P. Boettcher Jr.

          I’m not sure which of our current and/or former slush readers you’re accusing of having “a bias”, since the three stories were each commented on by several different members of our editorial team and accepted for publication by different editors. If anything, it’s a testament to the sheer number of stories about death we get every day (we publish a tiny fraction of them), and if I were to suspect any greater cause than that, it would be a writing prompt somewhere in the flash fiction community. Unfortunately, the probability of something happening in real life has very little to do with the probability of someone writing fiction about it, and as a matter of percentages, some of those pieces are going to end up being published. If you have any suggestions about how we could “correct” this to your satisfaction, I’d love to hear them.

          • Vicki Doronina

            Thank you for reminding me the titles of the stories. I am not “accusing” anybody, I’m just analyzing the data and proposing a hypothesis to explain them. It’s interesting to know that you receive a lot of stories about death, which is – death being the final mystery – understandable. Also, you may get a positive feedback loop where people send in stories similar to already published. However, I hope not all of the stories involve a female perpetrator and/or female victim, especially a child.

            As the sum of the people composing them, institutions are just as prone to bias as individual people. For example, Wikipedia strives to be “a sum of universal knowledge”, but reflects being written mostly by western, white men with education. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Systemic_bias

            Sometimes just admitting a bias helps to correct it. Additionally, having a general overview of the stories published in 3 month before rather than just accepting on the case by case basis may help. For example, both Alice’s Monsters and Pink Pills can be summed as mainstream, female protagonist, dead sibling, self-destruction.

          • Camille Gooderham Campbell

            Thank you for your analysis, Vicki. Your perspective is clearer now, and I appreciate your feedback.

  • I’m glad this didn’t end how I assumed it would.

  • I’m glad this didn’t end how I assumed it would.

  • Paul A. Freeman

    I found this a powerful piece of writing. Personally I have difficulty writing in such detail about the deaths of children and tip my hat to someone who can. The only change I would have made is in the third from last paragraph. After Avery finds her cell phone, the remainder of the paragraph is unnecessary. The reader can be trusted to work out the rest.

  • Paul A. Freeman

    I found this a powerful piece of writing. Personally I have difficulty writing in such detail about the deaths of children and tip my hat to someone who can. The only change I would have made is in the third from last paragraph. After Avery finds her cell phone, the remainder of the paragraph is unnecessary. The reader can be trusted to work out the rest.

  • I’m going to agree with Jeff on this one. No idea how the marks are so high on this story. I found it plain and a bit monotonous. Predictable. No chances are really taken here, and the writing could be much improved, first by trimming a lot of detail. This one just doesn’t work for me as it is. One star. Thanks for sharing.

  • I’m going to agree with Jeff on this one. No idea how the marks are so high on this story. I found it plain and a bit monotonous. Predictable. No chances are really taken here, and the writing could be much improved, first by trimming a lot of detail. This one just doesn’t work for me as it is. One star. Thanks for sharing.

  • Mickey Hunt

    Suicide is more common that people realize. It’s just that few want to talk about it when it’s their loved one. The story captures an important point: a person feeling hopeless and contemplating ending their life should remember the someone out there who needs them. The story doesn’t delve into how much pain the person will cause if they follow through with their thoughts, but that’s important to remember, too.

  • Mickey Hunt

    Suicide is more common that people realize. It’s just that few want to talk about it when it’s their loved one. The story captures an important point: a person feeling hopeless and contemplating ending their life should remember the someone out there who needs them. The story doesn’t delve into how much pain the person will cause if they follow through with their thoughts, but that’s important to remember, too.

  • Dan The Man

    Maybe it was a simple theme, but well written nevertheless, which made it engaging. Hope you can whistle up some more stories.

  • Dan The Man

    Maybe it was a simple theme, but well written nevertheless, which made it engaging. Hope you can whistle up some more stories.

  • Chinwillow

    I’m not a fan of this one.Agreed it was common and read , to me, like a high school assignment.but…at least it was chosen to appear …so that’s a feather in your hat:)

  • Chinwillow

    I’m not a fan of this one.Agreed it was common and read , to me, like a high school assignment.but…at least it was chosen to appear …so that’s a feather in your hat:)

  • Samantha Melton

    Really enjoyed this story, the darkness of it is honest and believable. Well written, detailed but not too much so, there was a lot captured in the short space. Well done.

  • Samantha Melton

    Really enjoyed this story, the darkness of it is honest and believable. Well written, detailed but not too much so, there was a lot captured in the short space. Well done.

  • Vicki Doronina

    I am surprised to be put on pre-moderation after one polite (I think) comment on editorial policy.

    • Vicki,
      Please don’t take any moderation personally. A few months back we had some bad apples running amok around here terrorizing the threads. (You weren’t around then, I believe. Things got crazy.) Guessing at Camille’s intentions, she’s merely being cautious.

      As for similar stories, I can offer my opinion as a once-slush reader. The queue is *filled* with death stories. Most of them end with the MC taking their own life. (See my comment above about this story ending. I was pleased by it, because I’ve seen the other so many times.)

      Also, there are 30-31 days in the month. Repeated themes are going to happen. There’s precious little sci-fi in the queue, and an abundance of divorce stories. (I believe that’s the most common. Breakups, then romance, then suicides.)

      Still, those themes are represented in publication because the best will rise to the top, regardless of theme and frequency.

      I’ve yet to see a story that was universally panned. There’s always at least one person, usually more, who likes the story of the day.

      Hope this helps.

      • Vicki Doronina

        Dustin,

        Thank you for your reply. I’ll risk spending some more time in a hope that my post is not deleted. No, I wasn’t among the bad apples, as I started reading EDF recently.

        I appreciate that the slush readers and editors may only work with what was submitted. However, it may be that you are creating a feedback loop, where publishing, for example, a story about divorce prompts more writers to send you similar stories. Simultaneously pushing SF writers send their stories, which have nothing to do with with romance, suicide or divorce, elsewhere.

        I realize that I am asking too many questions, probably that’s why Daily Science Fiction allows rating the stories but not commenting on them. But I would be very happy to know – and promise to stop asking questions – if you tell me what you consider a successful story choice? Only positive comments (probably never happens)? Ratings above four? Over a hundred votes?

        • Vicki,

          For me, a story is successful if it moves one reader.

          Movement can be a chuckle, a tear, or even disgust.

          Stories like the above tend to be terribly emotive based on their subject matter. This could be why the slush sees so many. Writers want to express their own passions. They want answers to questions and use their writing to ask them. (Well, I do at least.)

          So if those questions speak to readers in the same way, we have a meeting of the minds. We have success.

          That’s why I send the bulk of my stories here, because of the reader connection. I hope people like what I write, and if they don’t, it’s for an intellectual reason, not an emotional one. For someone to feel nothing, IMO, would be a failure of that story.

        • Joseph Kaufman

          Vicki, I’d just like to make a quick comment in regards to your idea of a “feedback loop”. I think it is an intriguing idea and one which I am glad you brought up.

          I agree that we all see such feedback loops all the time. Just look at television. Do we really need dozens (if not hundreds at this point) of reality shows? “Voice”-based shows? In my opinion, absolutely not — they are the epitome of pablum. But such shows get ratings, so the studios make more, and undoubtedly the entire system now has ground-up mechanisms in place for the whole reality show pantheon to continue to grow. I assume there are film classes now based on the creation and running of reality shows. The feedback loop is alive and well in that realm.

          And that’s why I think your point is so great to bring up. However, now I’ll get to the reality that is the EDF submission pile.

          I truly wish EDF had the power to create such a feedback loop, I really do. But after being on staff here for almost five years, now an editor, I have yet to see any submission where it is clear an author is sending us something EDF-specific in terms of “I’ve seen them publish a lot of this, so I’m going to give it a shot.”

          As Camille already stated further up in the comments, we simply have ALWAYS gotten a lot of the following types of stories:

          — Broken relationship stories, up to and including homicidal tendencies.
          — Suicide stories (with a striking number involving mirrors and still thinking it’s a clever reveal).
          — Zombie stories
          — Vampire stories
          — Stories that personify an inanimate object or animal (and think that alone is enough to be publishable, even when the story has no actual plot)

          The above types of stories probably account for at least 75% of submissions and, as I said, always have.

          Another reason I am pretty sure this isn’t a “feedback loop” phenomenon is due to the fact it is abundantly clear many of our submissions come from authors who have never read a single story published by EDF. How do I know this? Because many stories are not even fully-plotted works. They are micros or stand-up routines or rants or essays or vignettes — something our audience rarely, if ever, would have seen grace these (web) pages.

          When the day comes that EDF has the resources, audience, and submission quality to actually influence authors via the feedback mechanism you mention, I will be astonished (and overjoyed). That’s what we’re shooting for, though, and we know that with such great power comes great responsibility.

          We just aren’t quite there yet, in my opinion and experience.

          • Mickey Hunt

            I’m enjoying the backstage discussion.

          • That was a great explanation Joseph. Thank you. I understand the process at EDF a lot better now.

            For the record I think you’re all doing a fantastic job.

          • Vicki Doronina

            Joseph,

            I completely agree with you that television is full of repetitions. My pet peeve are TV soap-like series, where everybody is beautiful, lives in a beautiful house, earns at least 6 figures salary, has incredibly clever and healthy but misbehaving children etc. I am not jealous, I just cannot emphasize with a divorce of a self-help books writer and a successful lawyer.

            I think there are two types of writers: those who don’t read guidelines and those who do. You cannot change the behavior of the first group. However, for the rest it’s possible to state that for example:

            *We _do not_ publish stories without a fully developed plot, micros or stand-up routines, rants, essays, vignettes.

            *It’s unlikely that we will publish stories about divorce, suicide, vampires”, zombies, stories that personify an inanimate object or animal, [insert your preference here].

            *We are looking for good SF/stories with happy endings etc.”

            “The recent vampire story was OK, that’s why I’m saying that “it’s unlikely”.

            Why am I trying to meddle in a project, which been running successfully since 2007?
            1) I am a free-lance web content creator. 2) I am a Wikipedia editor and admin from 2007, and believe that if you see something that can be improved, you should attempt doing it.

          • Camille Gooderham Campbell

            Thank you all for the fascinating discussion. I believe that at this time it would be respectful to the author of this story to return the focus there, but I’m more than happy to continue the conversation, either by email or on our Facebook Roundtable.

    • Camille Gooderham Campbell

      Your earlier comment (now approved) was auto-moderated by the spam filter based on its own mysterious and arcane criteria, along with five others. My apologies for that; it was not an active or intentional suppression of discussion. If any of your comments don’t post in the future, please just use our contact form to ask that the spam filter be checked so your comment can be retrieved.

  • Vicki Doronina

    I am surprised to be put on pre-moderation after one polite (I think) comment on editorial policy.

    Even more surprised that my answer to the suggestion about a possible correction was deleted. My fault for not reading between the lines, but saying “Thank you for your input, but we are completely happy about our editorial policies and have no plans to change them” would have been more honest.

    • Vicki,
      Please don’t take any moderation personally. A few months back we had some bad apples running amok around here terrorizing the threads. (You weren’t around then, I believe. Things got crazy.) Guessing at Camille’s intentions, she’s merely being cautious.

      As for similar stories, I can offer my opinion as a once-slush reader. The queue is *filled* with death stories. Most of them end with the MC taking their own life. (See my comment above about this story ending. I was pleased by it, because I’ve seen the other so many times.)

      Also, there are 30-31 days in the month. Repeated themes are going to happen. There’s precious little sci-fi in the queue, and an abundance of divorce stories. (I believe that’s the most common. Breakups, then romance, then suicides.)

      Still, those themes are represented in publication because the best will rise to the top, regardless of theme and frequency.

      I’ve yet to see a story that was universally panned. There’s always at least one person, usually more, who likes the story of the day.

      Hope this helps.

      • Vicki Doronina

        Dustin,

        Thank you for your reply. I’ll risk spending some more time in a hope that my post is not deleted. No, I wasn’t among the bad apples, as I started reading EDF recently.

        I appreciate that the slush readers and editors may only work with what was submitted. However, it may be that you are creating a feedback loop, where publishing, for example, a story about divorce prompts more writers to send you similar stories. Simultaneously pushing SF writers send their stories, which have nothing to do with with romance, suicide or divorce, elsewhere.

        I realize that I am asking too many questions, probably that’s why Daily Science Fiction allows rating the stories but not commenting on them. But I would be very happy to know – and promise to stop asking questions – if you tell me what you consider a successful story choice? Only positive comments (probably never happens)? Ratings above four? Over a hundred votes?

        • Vicki,

          For me, a story is successful if it moves one reader.

          Movement can be a chuckle, a tear, or even disgust.

          Stories like the above tend to be terribly emotive based on their subject matter. This could be why the slush sees so many. Writers want to express their own passions. They want answers to questions and use their writing to ask them. (Well, I do at least.)

          So if those questions speak to readers in the same way, we have a meeting of the minds. We have success.

          That’s why I send the bulk of my stories here, because of the reader connection. I hope people like what I write, and if they don’t, it’s for an intellectual reason, not an emotional one. For someone to feel nothing, IMO, would be a failure of that story.

        • Joseph Kaufman

          Vicki, I’d just like to make a quick comment in regards to your idea of a “feedback loop”. I think it is an intriguing idea and one which I am glad you brought up.

          I agree that we all see such feedback loops all the time. Just look at television. Do we really need dozens (if not hundreds at this point) of reality shows? “Voice”-based shows? In my opinion, absolutely not — they are the epitome of pablum. But such shows get ratings, so the studios make more, and undoubtedly the entire system now has ground-up mechanisms in place for the whole reality show pantheon to continue to grow. I assume there are film classes now based on the creation and running of reality shows. The feedback loop is alive and well in that realm.

          And that’s why I think your point is so great to bring up. However, now I’ll get to the reality that is the EDF submission pile.

          I truly wish EDF had the power to create such a feedback loop, I really do. But after being on staff here for almost five years, now an editor, I have yet to see any submission where it is clear an author is sending us something EDF-specific in terms of “I’ve seen them publish a lot of this, so I’m going to give it a shot.”

          As Camille already stated further up in the comments, we simply have ALWAYS gotten a lot of the following types of stories:

          — Broken relationship stories, up to and including homicidal tendencies.
          — Suicide stories (with a striking number involving mirrors and still thinking it’s a clever reveal).
          — Zombie stories
          — Vampire stories
          — Stories that personify an inanimate object or animal (and think that alone is enough to be publishable, even when the story has no actual plot)

          The above types of stories probably account for at least 75% of submissions and, as I said, always have.

          Another reason I am pretty sure this isn’t a “feedback loop” phenomenon is due to the fact it is abundantly clear many of our submissions come from authors who have never read a single story published by EDF. How do I know this? Because many stories are not even fully-plotted works. They are micros or stand-up routines or rants or essays or vignettes — something our audience rarely, if ever, would have seen grace these (web) pages.

          When the day comes that EDF has the resources, audience, and submission quality to actually influence authors via the feedback mechanism you mention, I will be astonished (and overjoyed). That’s what we’re shooting for, though, and we know that with such great power comes great responsibility.

          We just aren’t quite there yet, in my opinion and experience.

          • Mickey Hunt

            I’m enjoying the backstage discussion.

          • That was a great explanation Joseph. Thank you. I understand the process at EDF a lot better now.

            For the record I think you’re all doing a fantastic job.

          • Vicki Doronina

            Joseph,

            I completely agree with you that television is full of repetitions. My pet peeve are TV soap-like series, where everybody is beautiful, lives in a beautiful house, earns at least 6 figures salary, has incredibly clever and healthy but misbehaving children etc. I am not jealous, I just cannot emphasize with a divorce of a self-help books writer and a successful lawyer.

            I think there are two types of writers: those who don’t read guidelines and those who do. You cannot change the behavior of the first group. However, for the rest it’s possible to state that for example:

            *We _do not_ publish stories without a fully developed plot, micros or stand-up routines, rants, essays, vignettes.

            *It’s unlikely that we will publish stories about divorce, suicide, vampires”, zombies, stories that personify an inanimate object or animal, [insert your preference here].

            *We are looking for good SF/stories with happy endings etc.”

            “The recent vampire story was OK, that’s why I’m saying that “it’s unlikely”.

            Why am I trying to meddle in a project, which have been running successfully since 2007?
            1) I am a free-lance web content creator. 2) I am a Wikipedia editor and admin from 2007, and believe that if you see something that can be improved, you should attempt doing it.

          • Camille Gooderham Campbell

            Thank you all for the fascinating discussion. I believe that at this time it would be respectful to the author of this story to return the focus there, but I’m more than happy to continue the conversation, either by email or on our Facebook Roundtable.

    • Camille Gooderham Campbell

      Your earlier comment (now approved) was auto-moderated by the spam filter based on its own mysterious and arcane criteria, along with five others. My apologies for that; it was not an active or intentional suppression of discussion. If any of your comments don’t post in the future, please just use our contact form to ask that the spam filter be checked so your comment can be retrieved.

  • Marie

    While it went nicely from A to B, I could not find originality in this piece and that is of the utmost importance to me. Other than that there is nothing “wrong” with it and nothing challenging about it – perhaps that is part of the reason it has received high reviews.

  • Marie

    While it went nicely from A to B, I could not find originality in this piece and that is of the utmost importance to me. Other than that there is nothing “wrong” with it and nothing challenging about it – perhaps that is part of the reason it has received high reviews.

  • Camille Gooderham Campbell

    Thank you for your analysis, Vicki. Your perspective is clearer now, and I appreciate your feedback.

  • Paola Buitron

    The ending is very powerful. I love the story. Her sentence structure is succinct and conveys the story well.

  • Paola Buitron

    The ending is very powerful. I love the story. Her sentence structure is succinct and conveys the story well.

  • Netty net

    I am glad to hear she gets the help she needs.

  • Netty net

    I am glad to hear she gets the help she needs.